Healing the Masculine: From Trauma to Embodiment
One thing I’ve noticed in working with men who’ve experienced psychological, emotional, or physical abuse is that they often respond to life in one of two ways:
• Some become alpha, building a fortress of intellectual and physical power to protect the vulnerable child within.
• Others lean into beta tendencies, becoming people-pleasers or avoiding presence altogether to escape painful emotions.
In both cases, the goal of my work is to help men feel safe in their bodies again.
The Foundation of Healing: Presence and Compassion
For many men, the trauma they’ve experienced growing up sends a clear, unspoken message: it’s not okay to be yourself. Vulnerability and emotional expression become unsafe.
That’s why my work often begins with presence and compassion—two vital things many men lacked in their formative years.
To guide men back into their bodies and emotions, I incorporate movement practices like Qi Gong and embodiment meditations. These practices reconnect men to their nervous systems and restore a sense of safety within themselves.
For example, one of the simplest embodiment exercises is Mindful Walking, as taught by the Buddha:
• Walk at 75% of your usual pace.
• Focus on the sensation of your feet touching the ground.
This practice relaxes the nervous system, shifts the body out of fight-or-flight mode, and allows men to fully inhabit the present moment.
Integrating Male Sexual Energy: The Way of Water
I’ll be honest—my own journey with sexual energy wasn’t easy. For years, I felt ashamed of my sexual self.
At 33, I had been teaching meditation, Tai Chi, and yoga for years. I felt deeply aligned with my values, communicating with integrity, compassion, and love. Yet, one part of me felt out of sync: my sexuality.
I often felt the need to release sexual tension using erotic imagery. Unsolicited fantasies would arise, and I didn’t know how to manage the rush of aroused energy. My only coping mechanism was release, which would bring temporary peace but leave me with guilt and shame for not being “spiritual enough.”
I never resonated with the Western neo-tantric scene, which often felt more about pushing boundaries than finding peace.
Instead, I found a slower, more intentional path.
Drawing from Taoist, yogic, and mindfulness traditions, I developed what I call The Way of Water—a practice that embraces the calming, nourishing nature of water.
Water flows inward, downward, and gently nourishes everything it touches. The Taoists often referred to their practice as the Way of Water, and since water is also part of my name, it felt fitting to use it as a guide.
Today, my sexual self feels 100% aligned with who I want to be. My approach is designed to help men reconnect to their bodies, their nervous systems, and their hearts.
If this resonates with you, I invite you to join my men’s group training starting Thursday, December 12th. I also work 1-on-1 with men who are experiencing profound breakthroughs in their journeys.
Sensitivity is a Superpower
In a world that often feels desensitized, sensitive men may feel out of place. I’ve noticed this especially in how sensitivity shows up in sexual energy.
Many spiritually sensitive men struggle with early releasing during lovemaking. They often feel ashamed, believing they don’t measure up to societal ideals or past partners’ expectations.
But here’s the truth: sensitivity is a superpower.
I went from believing I was “too sensitive” and struggling with early release to now being able to consciously choose how long I make love—sometimes for hours.
This transformation didn’t come from secret techniques or force. It came from:
• Relearning how to self-pleasure and make love in a way that honors sensitivity.
• Having open, honest conversations with my partner.
• Leading with my heart instead of my ego.
• Making love from stillness, not performance.
The first thing I tell men who struggle with early releasing is this: You’re not too sensitive. There’s no such thing.
By transforming sensitivity into a gift, men unlock a superpower for deep connection, presence, and love.
If you’re a couple wanting to explore this together, join us for our Love Making Retreat for Couples. Or, if you’re a man looking for support with your sexual energy, reach out to me privately or join my training program.
Healing the Shadow of Male Sexual Energy
For centuries, society has glorified the darkest aspects of masculinity: unchecked ego, domination, and violence. These distorted ideals, reinforced through culture and media, have left deep scars on men and their relationships.
I don’t like terms like “toxic masculinity” because they cast too broad a stroke. True masculinity, in its light, is about being a loving and protective force—a fatherly presence for one’s family, community, and society.
Yet, as I’ve seen in meditation, the trauma carried in our collective sexuality is immense. Sexual energy has been weaponized, used for manipulation and control throughout history. It’s no wonder so much healing is needed in this space.
I never set out to teach sexual energy practices. For years, they were a personal exploration. But in meditation, I was told: This is your work. The planet needs this healing.
And so, I now guide men in reconnecting their sexual energy to their hearts.
When sexual energy is anchored in love and presence, everything changes. We show up in relationships with compassion, confidence, and openness. Even if it’s just the relationship we have with ourselves, the ripple effects are profound.
When we do this, our partners feel safe, their hearts relax, and they open to us fully. This is where true healing begins.
Are You Ready?
If you’re a man ready to connect with your sexual energy in a new way, I invite you to:
• Reach out for 1-on-1 support.
• Join my upcoming men’s group training.
• Explore our Love Making Retreat for Couples.
Together, we can create a new paradigm for masculinity—one rooted in presence, love, and connection.
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